Fear and Loathing in the Suburbs: The Skaters are at the Gates

Few activities still insight such radical reactions in some polite, middle class, suburban folk as a hooligan on a piece of maple – with four urethane wheels attached to it – racing down a hill. They look upon these youths with expressions of similar disdain, as they roll past, as one might look upon a junkie shooting up H on a quiet neighbourhood street corner. The bizarre animosity is palpable. No amount of smiling, or courteous greeting can change the views of some. Skaters are scum. And it serves them right when they come-a-crop, skidding across the asphalt, grating away layers of skin and flesh.

Mike McMillan

There can be no sympathy for these self-inflicted wounds; in fact skaters are probably masochists…

Who else would bomb down hills, clinging precariously to the very edge of balance and control? Then as the inevitable wobble strikes, throwing out a hand, slamming it into the tarmac and simultaneously whipping the board perpendicular to the slope, arresting the hurtle towards destruction with a four wheel slide. Urethane chatters as it disintegrates destroying the neighbourhood silence; of lawnmowers, crying children and inconsiderately loud stereos.

Suburbanites are right to be distrustful, fearful, who can associate with these animals? Can a normal, moderate man find a common ground upon which to debate? Talk them down from the ledge; bring them back into the fold of civilised society? Probably not.

Raoul van den Berg

Let them be then. Lock away your daughters. Put your pets inside (they might turn to burnt offerings next). Look the other way, as they pass-by. Dangerously close. Counter culture flying in the face of your norms.

There might be another way though. On closer inspection they might not be that different. After a day of hitting the books or the keyboard they don’t head out to the driving range, or hit the streets for a jog. But is it really that different? 

Come make up your own mind; watch the members of the Stellenbosch Longboarding club do their thing around Stellenbosch, just drop into the Cornerstone Surf and Skate Shop to find out where the likeliest spot of the day will be.

Ricki Allardice

If you like what you see you too can join the growing number of people riding the urban wave. Get a longboard and cruise town or campus. It’s more eco-friendly than driving, quicker than walking, skateboards are harder to steal than bicycles and it’s safer than you’d think. Plus longboarding is a pretty inclusive scene, there’s a denomination for everyone from cruising to racing, so there’s no excuse not to get involved.